Category Archives: Abuse
This is another letter sent to the church in an attempt to get some help for myself regarding the abuse by the ushers. I was not told what actions were taken against the person that assaulted me. Here is the private letter I sent to the leadership of the church. This letter has not been altered.
“Sept 2, 2008
To: Pastor Barnett
From: Kathy Brocks
Date of Incident: 08/31/2008
Time of Incident: 2:20pm to 2:30pm (after 11:15am Service)
Incident: Anthony Wilks slapped me, Kathy Brocks
Pastor Barnett was praying for the people in the prayer line
I saw my sister and her spouse over by the stag where the Choir sits
Anthony Wilks was walking towards me so I said, “Hello. Hey, it looks like you’re getting taller!”
Then Anthony Wilks slapped me. I felt myself fading out. So I said,
“That’s disrespectful. Why did you slap me?”
Anthony Wilks said, “That’s how I greet people.”
This was Anthony’s apology or explanation.
I was embarrassed, angry and could do anything other than remove myself from the situation. It was robotic.
Oddly without thinking I completed my greeting by hugging Anthony Wilks as a blessing or something. I did not realize how angry I was at the time cause when I saw Glenda Cousins; I jumped up 3 times 3-5 ft high.
I didn’t say anything while speaking with my sister. I was really ticked off and did not want to show my anger verbally because I have a tendency to use swear words when things like that happen.
I left out and went to gallery to buy a cd. The line was long and I was anxious and angry. I did not know what to do cause my experience is that men side with men especially in the Church. The woman is always wrong because she got angry, allowed it to happen or should have showed more respect, etc.
I wandered about and re-entering the Sanctuary started searching for the older man with the grey hair who was the Head of the Men’s Ministry and the Usher Ministry.
I did not see him so I approached the first Usher I saw, he said he was the head of the Ushers, dark skinned male about 5 ft 9in short hair cut, navy blue suit. I asked him, “Do you slap people, women in the face as a greeting?” He said, “No.” So I proceeded to tell him of the incident between Anthony Wilks and myself.
The Head of the Ushers said I should speak with the Head of the Ministry because Anthony is a Minister. So I told, Tevin, the head of the Ministry, (unsure of full name)
5ft 7 inches tall, short hair cut, light skinned and wore a tan suit, of the incident. Tevin took my name and phone number and said he will get the information to Pastor Barnett.
My brother in-law came over and asked me if I was ok. I said yes and went to talk with my sister again and my sister in-law. I left and went to my mother’s house.
Still angry because Anthony Wilks has no Love of Christ and no respect for me as a person and was not sure if anyone was really going to help I started doing the following:
I left a message on the voicemail for the Prayer Line
2) I emailed Pastor Winston and Sister Veronica Winston via the BWM.org website 08/31/2008
3) Spoke with my Aunt, a third party-impartial-she talked down my anger
4) 09/02/2008 I called and left a message on the voicemail of Pastor Barnett
5) 09/02/2008 I left a message on the voicemail for Sister Veronica Winston cause she is a woman and understands no woman enjoys being hit by anyone
6) I called back and left a message with Pastor Barnett’s secretary
7) I talked with the company Nurse. My blood pressure was rising and I was still angry because I know I did not do anything to deserve being hit. ”
My overall goal is to get reform in the church. The church is not a safe place to go and fellowship. Men are taking out their frustrations on the women. The women are just accepting whatever the men do because the men are the leaders. It is not ok to hit period. End of story. It is not ok to invade a woman’s personal space or to put your hands on a woman. When a woman asks you to stop touching her then it should be stopped. Hitting a woman is never ok. Read more on incident of 06/22/2014.
By now, you may you’ve seen the video of Solange Knowles, Beyoncé’s sister continue verbal conversation while entering an elevator.
The issue is Solange took the conversation from verbal to physical. Solange got in the face Jay-Z and then swung on him. Jay-Z holding out his arms to prevent her from hitting him. Solange then kicks Jay-Z in the chest. Which must people in any culture know this is beyond way out-of-bounds. The is more than a sign of no respect and sign of a drug or mental problem.
To get out of control to the point you are screaming and yelling when you are not in any physical danger states something is definitely wrong. I just got to give props to Jay-Z cause He did not hit a woman who some men would have knocked her on her butt. Beyoncé, appeared to fear for the mental state of her sister. I say this cause a sister is unique in that, when they are in danger the body stance is defensive and when they are in danger of hurting themselves the posture is more of empathetic allowing the sister to be restrained.
The hope is that whatever is going on with Solange is that she will seek and accept real help.